From Discouragement to Determination

In my years as a pastor, I have occasionally received texts or anonymous letters that were not kind. I would read them, feel hurt and defensive, and my spirit would plummet. As a young pastor, I did not manage discouragement very well.

As I’ve grown older, I try to look at the information I receive and pray, “Lord, there is a lot of smoke here. Is there a little fire?” I now choose to examine the discouraging words and ask what I can learn from them. So if I were to receive a message with six discouraging assertions, I try to ask myself, “Is there any truth in this?” Rarely will all hurtful words be true, but I look for what truth could be there. This enables me to move past any hurt and learn something instead of allowing discouragement to ruin my day, week, or month.

You cannot let people who hurt you determine your outlook or actions. You don’t want to become bitter; you want to become better. When I have felt myself descending into hurt and discouragement, I’ve found that God’s Word lifts my spirit and gives me wisdom and strength.

One of my favorite Bible stories helps me rise above discouragement. In Genesis 29, Isaac’s younger son, Jacob, left his family in fear after he stole his brother’s blessing. Jacob encountered a man named Laban, who was even more of a trickster than Jacob. Laban had at least two daughters. One was Rachel, who “was beautiful in form and appearance.” The other was Leah, whose “eyes were weak.”

It didn’t take long for Rachel to catch Jacob’s eye. He made a deal with Rachel’s dad: If Jacob served seven years on Laban’s ranch, Laban would give him Rachel in marriage. The account reads, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her” (v. 20). Finally, the wedding night arrived, but the devious Laban hid his older daughter Leah behind the veil. Unsuspectingly, Jacob married Leah instead of Rachel.

As I review this story, of course I feel for Jacob. But then another thought occurs to me: Imagine being Leah! She wasn’t the one Jacob wanted. On the wedding night, when it was dark, Jacob took Leah to bed thinking she was Rachel. The next morning, once he realized he’d been duped, he was terribly upset. Jacob had wanted beautiful Rachel, and he’d worked seven years to marry her. Jacob was stuck, and so was Leah.

His sneaky father-in-law, Laban, then told Jacob he could work seven more years for Rachel. So Jacob began another seven years’ labor in order to marry Rachel. While he didn’t love Leah, he was a dutiful husband, and they had a child named Reuben. Leah said, “Now my husband will love me” (v. 32). Guess what? Jacob still didn’t love Leah. They had another son and named him Simeon. Leah said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also” (v. 33). Jacob and Leah had a third son, Levi. And Leah said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons” (v. 34). Still Jacob did not love her.

And Leah knew she was unloved. Talk about discouragement! But when she bore a fourth son, she shifted her outlook. “This time I will praise the Lord,” Leah said (v. 35). She didn’t hope that maybe this time Jacob would love her. She determined to just praise the Lord. She had learned that her relationship with Jacob was not the most important thing; her relationship with the Lord was what really mattered.

You see, we are going to have times of discouragement. And what we must decide is that we’re going to praise the Lord.

Jesus: From Leah’s Lineage 

You may be saying, “What is so good about this story?” Well, let’s see what became of each of Leah’s sons. The third son, Levi, became the tribe of Levi, which means that Moses came from her. Jacob did not love her and yet the Levitical priesthood came from her. Her fourth son was Judah, which means “praise.” Judah’s offspring became King David. In Revelation 5:5, John writes of Jesus Christ, born of the “tribe of Judah, the Root of David.” Jesus came from Leah’s lineage! God used an unlikely, plain, unloved woman to pave the way for Jesus to enter our world!

You know what my foundation is? Not losing faith when things don’t turn out the way I want. What I know is that God has a plan. Like Leah, we decide to trust Him. He will change our perspective and bring us out of our despair.

Benny Tate, Ph.D., has served as senior pastor of Rock Springs Church in Milner, Georgia, since 1990. He will be featured on LIFE TODAY this Wednesday and Thursday, March 25 and 26. Adapted from Yes, You Can by Benny Tate with Stacey Hensley. Copyright © 2025 by Benny Tate. Published by Charisma House, an imprint of Charisma Media. Used by permission.