Reclaim Solitude

I want you to think about something for a minute. What might you have lost because of the absence of solitude in your life? Is it thinking of something bigger than yourself? Is it being able to dream of moments that you can create with your kids? Is it being able to hear the voice of God in your life? It could be many things, but I want you to think about this on purpose. What has been lost in your life because of your inability to have solitude?

The fact that we are constantly connected has also shifted and changed the way that we perceive and value solitude. Maybe you are having a hard time even imagining it as a good thing. That’s okay! But I hope you are sensing that it’s something that’s not only important but actually necessary.

Get this. Studies have shown that being constantly connected has led to increased loneliness in society. That we can constantly compare our lives with others’ idealized lives can fuel feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. FOMO is real. You know who didn’t have FOMO? Anyone who doesn’t have a phone. Recovering our ability to have regular solitude is so important for our mental health and overall well-being.

And the good news is, we don’t have to go too far back to get practical insights and lessons on how to do this solitude thing well.

Here are a few ways you can reclaim solitude today.

1. WAKE UP BEFORE THE SUN. Yes, there are always going to be emails and notifications waiting for you, but when you arise before the rest of your collective community, you have a chance to start the day knowing that nobody is waiting for a response, and you have an opportunity to just be.
2. COMMUTE IN SILENCE. L know it’s crazy to imagine this one. Sometimes our car rides or train rides are the only minutes during the day that we have to ourselves. So we often think this would be the best time to consume and enjoy the things that we want to enjoy. And for many of us, yes, it’s a great time to self-improve.

I’m not saying get rid of your self-improvement time altogether, but start with two out of five daily commutes when you just let your mind wander. Let solitude take over and see what happens. Many times the best type of self-improvement will happen only when you actually spend time with your self.

3. EXPERIMENT ON YOURSELF. Listen, I know I lived at a monastery for two weeks and an Amish farm for two weeks, but you don’t have to do that. What if you had regular, twenty-four- hour digital detoxes that you could step into and experience just a glimmer of solitude? This would remind yourself that solitude isn’t something to be scared of but rather it’s something that you need.
4. EXPERIMENT WITH TECH-FREE HOBBIES. One of the reasons I love to fly-fish is that it is practically impossible to fly-fish and hold a phone. It forces me to solitude in ways that I can’t have when I’m connected. What sort of activity can you do that takes both of your hands and also places you in a space where a screen isn’t involved? I mean, quite literally this could be as simple as decorating your yard for Christmas or learning to work on your car. Both of these are activities that push me into solitude because I’m using both my hands and am away from screens. Some of my best ideas have come either on my roof or under my car!

You don’t have to move to a monastery. I did that for you. Now just do solitude on purpose. Every day. You were made for this…

Reclaiming some sort of solitude in your life may seem almost impossible. But let me tell you something. I’m currently writing this almost a year after I did this experiment, and not only is solitude available to you, it’s going to produce more living your life instead of your life living you.

Carlos Whittaker joins James and Betty this Tuesday on LIFE TODAY. Excerpted from Reconnected by Carlos Whittaker. Copyright 2024 by Carlos Enrique Whittaker. Used by permission of Nelson Books, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.