Porcupines have never had their day in the sun as popular pets. Their faces are adorable, but they’ve got about 30,000 reasons why there are no viral videos documenting their cuddly cuteness. Their quills are no joke. Porcupines are covered in tens of thousands of quills to keep them safe when they feel threatened. For an animal or human unlucky enough to get quilled, those sharp spikes cause great pain when removed. A porcupine’s basic message is “stay away from me.” It’s best not to argue with them.
Some of us have gotten used to putting out that same vibe. Unfortunately, our quills aren’t as invisible as we think, and they have consequences. We grow an invisible quill each time someone gossips about us, lies to us, betrays us, abandons us, abuses us, diminishes us, or ignores us. We put up the quills because we have been hurt and we don’t know how or where to find safe places to stop the hurt. Just for kicks, if you were a porcupine, how many quills would you have?
Some women are loud about their quills, and then there are the quiet quills of the woman who will give her name and maybe one or two details about her life. When you ask her how she’s doing, she’s going to respond with “I’m good” or “I’m fine” every single time. She’s not giving up any more than that, and if you push her, she’ll likely cut off contact.
Perhaps you’ve struggled to trust Christian women because they don’t seem any different from the other adult mean girls that you encounter at work or in your friendships. We’ve all been there. But isolation isn’t the answer. In our effort to protect ourselves from future pain, we hurt ourselves more by avoiding connection. To be clear, the hurt is real, but healing can only happen in safe Christian community with other believers surrounding us.
Jesus’s half brother James wasn’t originally one of Jesus’s followers. There are hints in the Gospels that he wasn’t on board with Jesus’s earthly ministry, but Paul records that after the resurrection, Jesus appeared to James (1 Cor. 15:7), who then believed and became a powerful leader in the early church. Perhaps seeing Jesus’s resurrected body was the evidence that James needed to become a believer.
In the New Testament letter that bears his name, James offers divine insight into how God uses other believers to help us when the brokenness of our world breaks us:
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (5:16)
While James teaches that healing is found in community, he doesn’t give a timeline. Healing does take time. It’s not always easy. But if we keep showing up for each other, we give healing a chance to happen.
It takes bravery and courage to practice community. There’s no guarantee that other Christians won’t hurt, betray, or abandon us. Jesus and Paul both experienced this, which sadly means that we will too. But community is a gamble that is worth the risk. Life is unpredictable, but community is one of the blessings that God gives us when life takes an unexpected turn.
Barb Roose joins Randy Robison and Tammy Trent this Monday on LIFE TODAY. Excerpted from Stronger Than Stress by Barb Roose. Copyright ©2024 by Barb Roose. Published by Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. Used by permission.
