Waiting for God’s Best

Our first child, Rhonda, was three years old when I had an ovary removed. The doctor said I had endometriosis and advised me to focus on enjoying my daughter because I probably wouldn’t be able to conceive any more children. My heart sank. I longed to have a son. I cried out to God with the prayer of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:11: “O Lord Almighty…look down upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son.” When my miracle didn’t come, I grew jealous of other women who were able to have babies, and worse yet, I became bitter and angry at God.

One day in my brokenness over this spiritual impasse, I finally released my hurt and anger to God. I asked Him to heal me of the profound disappointment of not being able to have another child. I asked him to fill the empty space inside me. With tears streaming down my face, I told Him, “I just want to live for You. I want to relish every moment you’ve given me to spend with my precious Rhonda.”

In time God graciously began to take away the yearning I had to give birth to a son. And, amazingly, He filled my heart with a peace and contentment I had previously thought was impossible. With the contentment came a peaceful desire to check into adoption. A lawyer friend helped my husband, James, and me apply to several agencies. After our first meeting with him, he started the paperwork, and the wait began. Providentially, exactly nine months from the date of that meeting, our son, James Randall, came into the world and into our hearts forever.

The first time James and I saw Randy, our eyes filled with tears of pure joy. We kept saying, “He’s so beautiful. I can’t believe he’s ours!” We loved him from that first moment and have never stopped since! There was no difference in the intensity of our love for our adopted son and our love for our biological daughter.

Over three years later I began to feel unusually tired and a little queasy. I was concerned that maybe the endometriosis was back in full force. I went to the doctor, thinking I had cancer. Instead, James and I found out that a miracle had occurred—I was pregnant! On November 18, 1972, Robin Rochelle Robison, our miracle baby, joined our family, making it complete.

As I tucked my three little Rs into bed one night and gave them good-night kisses, I reflected on God’s perfect plan. He had wanted me to have His best. If He’d given me what I wanted, when I wanted it, I never would have known our wonderful son, Randy.

Since then, whenever my heart is hurting over a troubling situation, I strive to remember that God has a plan and He sees the whole picture. He knows what I need and when I need it. Although it can be hard to wait on Him, I cling to the truth that He wants to bless me with His best in His perfect time.

Living It Out

Ephesians 2:10 says we were created for good works, the kind that are done through dependence on God. Remember that the work being done in your life is God’s work and, therefore, will be done on His timetable. Rest in God’s ability, and reap the supernatural results. Be careful not to rob yourself of joy, peace and fulfillment while He is working by fretting over the time He’s taking to get it done. Remember that God demonstrates His heart of sensitivity toward you by blessing you with His best in His time.

Betty Robison is the CEO of LIFE Outreach International and co-host of LIFE TODAY. Excerpted from Women at the Well: 32 Refreshing Devotions for a Thirsty Soul. Compiled by Betty Robison. Copyright © 2003 by Betty Robison. Published by LIFE Outreach International.